Walking in fear verses Stepping out in Faith

Have you ever wanted a change that would drastically change things in your life? And has this desire for change been so bad that you make decisions that are not prudent because you just want out or in so bad? That's where I find myself today and I have been wrestling with myself for long. My fear for the unknown causing me to want to make decisions that could have a lasting adverse effect on the trajectory of my life.


A few days ago I reached a place where I just wanted to be out of a situation. I didn't care how, I just wanted to be out. I talked to a co-worker of mine about it and she was quick to point out the error in my thought process and for that I will be eternally grateful. It's always helpful when you have people who are not in your muck of things that can take an objective look and tell you to quickly hit the pause button before you make bad choices.


So anyways I took what she said and I saw how I was short selling myself thinking I was gaining something (peace of mind) in this case. It seemed like such a small price to pay for what I was gaining but in retrospect it would have been five steps backwards in terms of my career. I have worked hard to get to where I am and she was quick to point that out. She essentially said, "girl you deserve what's coming to you, so don't settle". 

I had an "OMG that's exactly what I am doing isn't it?" moment. As usual I went to God and I laid it all out. How tired I was feeling, how bitter and remorseful I was feeling, how much I wanted Him to give me a way out of my job, how entitled I feel and all these strong emotions you feel when you are at your wits end. If you read my blog then you know I have frequently mentioned how tough this year was and still is work wise so this being near year end all these emotions that have been balled up are now surfacing and it's not pretty.

In the midst of this something occurred to me. I wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for God. Immediately my spirit became contrite. I was humbled by how far God has brought me. The professional growth, the maturity that comes with undertaking difficult things/projects, the favor I have found, the constant presence of God carrying me through times I wasn't even aware I was being carried. I wanted to lift my hands up and say thank you.

Then it occurred to me also that my decision to consider moving to a job that would probably pay less with fewer responsibilities because I just wanted out was foolishness masked by fear. I remember telling my coworker that I didn't want to manage people any more, I didn't even want the title anymore and she looked at me like I had horns coming out of my head. She reminded me that I had come too far in the game to consider going backwards and she quickly pointed out that I would regret it.

My fear of not finding a place that I would want to move to quickly was causing me to settle. My fear and disbelief that God has something lined up for me caused me to want to settle. Everyday when we get and up and go to jobs that are tough we are stepping out in faith. We are believing that we are equipped to do these jobs. We are believing that God has put us in these places for a reason. So to deviate from this and start behaving foolishly is just wrong. So now every time I consider a position or a move I will remind myself to step out in faith and to let go of the fear.

This song is perfect for this post. Stay blessed .

Listening is loving...

3 comments:

  1. Enjoyed this post. I'm in the journey of not giving in to FEAR.

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  2. I pray that you will continue to remain strong and remember that all battles belong to God. stay blessed

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  3. great reminder thanks, i have seen this at the right moment.. God bless

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