Why Do You Like Me?

I was listening to the radio the other day and apparently there was a study and the conclusion was that parents should tell their kids they like them. Note I didn't say love them but rather like them. I was like whaaat?! First I'm thinking another study?! Second I think to myself maybe there is something to this. The show host talked about a father telling his ten year old daughter he liked her and after a little while, she was probably processing that information she asked, "Why?"

day dream by Rober S Donovan



That's when it clicked why the study would conclude that there is a need for parents to tell their kids they like them. At first I was like why should a parent have to tell their kid they like them, it goes without saying. Sadly this is not true. Kids today are smarter than kids their age from other generations. With all the exposure they have, there is so much thrown at them that they shouldnt have to deal with at their age. So anyways the concept is that liking someone is a choice. The ten year old girl knows her father loves her but liking her, well that's a whole different ball game. Even in her little mind she knows that to be liked by another person means they have seen something good in you that they appreciate. They have chosen to like you.

I'm starting to think by the time we have kids we will need manuals. This got me thinking though, there are people in our lives family and friends that we love but we do not like them. There are things in the people we love that abhor us like we seriously can't stand that side of them. I used to think love makes people vulnerable but apparently so does liking.

I thought about telling someone 'I like you' but when I start to think about it, liking is complicated isn't it. We go to functions with people we love but genuinely dislike. We can't say we hate them because hate is too strong a word but we can't by any means say we like them because we don't even like being around them.

I think of a school setting and how we got drawn to people. We liked them at first and then it grew to love. Liking someone is picking them and saying you are a human I want to be associated with. So maybe we should start telling one another that we like each other hehe. Perhaps even more so with our kids who have so many issues to deal with. It just breaks my heart that a ten year old would ask 'why do you like me?'

It may be up to us to build our kids self esteem and to highlight the goodness in them when we live in a world that is so negative. Or to just tell someone you like them every now and then because we sometimes need to be reminded that there are things in us and about us that are appreciated, liked and loved.

Have a great weekend.

Listening is loving...

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