"It's Not You" - Then What's The Problem?

What a week folks? I have been super busy at work and I am looking forward to a long weekend. Thank you Presidents day!!! It's super cold in Boston (sub-zero degree weather) and if you ain't got yourself a honey then you better get yourself some hot chocolate : ).

I don't have plans for this lovely weekend (pun intended) so I am staying in and enjoying a quiet weekend no valentine shenanigans. Although in one of my previous blogs I did state that its always nice to go out and enjoy yourself, sometimes you need some quiet time just as much. It's good for the soul : ).

Lakeside by Thomas Leuthard



So there is a book I am currently reading and something caught my eye and stayed with me. When people say things like 'It's not you' right before they break up with you, what the hell do they mean? Seriously if I am so great then why are you breaking up with me? If I am not the problem then why can't we work it out? What does that leave you with? I definitely cannot work with that, I am the type of person who needs closure and that would require a seat down to discuss my 'faults' and why I do not meet certain dating requirements.

It's such a cop out if you ask me. Just come out and say, you bore me to death and I am leaving you. Or I found what I think will be a better option for me. Don't tell me it's not me when clearly I am the problem. I sound quite angry don't I? I am just irritated by the whole dating scene. As I get older I have no patience and I appreciate good feedback. Don't tell me that it's not me, what are we five?! Tell me clearly and candidly why you are breaking up with me. I think we all deserve that especially after the time and effort we have put into the relationship.

Think about it if someone is breaking up with you, you are already heart broken so at the very least they should tell you why. What do you think? Have you ever been told 'It's not you'? How did you feel? Isn't it like the worst line on earth. It's a blatant lie in an attempt to make you feel better. It's like well if I'm so awesome why are you leaving me?! Urgh. Lame lame lame. If we aren't good together then clearly you breaking up with me means you find me lacking.

The take away from this is that we deserve better and we should demand more at every stage of the relationship even at the end. 'It's not you' is not enough, ask and demand for answers. When they are not satisfactory go back for more.

Happy valentines weekend friends.

Listening is loving...

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