The Cart Before The Horse

Lets get personal shall we? And good morning to you!!! I hope you are well. Truly I do. If not send me a note and we can talk, pray, complain...whatever about it.

Now on to serious business : ), I have been thinking about why people like to place the cart before the horse. Why do we like to do things in reverse? To have our cake and eat it too? The reason this thought process came up was because I happened to read an excellent post about the proverbs 31 woman and while it inspired me, it also left me wanting. Why? Because I am not a wife. The qualities of the proverbs 31 woman are endearing but the context in which they are written does not apply to me. Cue in a sigh of relief because I don't have to be that perfect woman for now at least.

Horses 2nd image by goingslo

However as I was reading, it occurred to me that sometimes we are expected to be things or to want things that are not right for us. Maybe a better way of phrasing it would be that they are not things that are in line with the seasons of our lives. I have often said that I am not ready to be a mother. I do not want to have kids at this stage of my life. Lately I have been asking myself why I feel so strongly about that particular topic when babies are all the rage.

As I read this proverb it occurred to me that in the same way I do not fit into that teaching because I am not in that season of life is the same way I am not ready to be anyone's mother. Being a good parent as I understand it means providing the best that I can for my child. The way I see it first comes the husband then the family follows. I think that when you are in a stable relationship and then in a stable marriage you create a space for another body to exist.

I have nothing but respect and admiration for single parents but I cant help but think that sometimes we place certain things before others and then we are out of order. Now this is just one example of something that I think people often jump to without thinking it out. There are multiple things that we often do that are out of order and when things don't work out the way we want we struggle to understand why.

As we begin this year I think its important to put things in perspective. To outline our goals and to ensure that the people around us are with us in the pursuit of said goals. Its a sad thing when plans are not in sync. Its a sadder thing when you realize later on down the line that you are totally out of whack and nothing is in sync. One way to avoid this is to have conversations about what our expectations are. If someone demands things that are out of order or that are not in the season of life that you are in then perhaps you are on two quite different journeys.

I started off asking why people place the cart before the horse. Why do people want things they shouldn't have in their current situations? It may be that they are selfish and they don't want the whole nine yards. It may be that they don't want the whole nine yards with you : ). It also may be that they are checking off certain boxes in their lives and you just happen to fit into that box whether you should or not. Whatever the case as I have always insisted we need to be aware of ourselves and the seasons of our lives we are in. While we coexist with other people we must also maintain a certain degree of independence to know when something is right or isn't right for us.

Friends lets think before we act. Lets put our ducks in order. Order is not a bad thing, its not a boring thing either it just means you are exercising some degree of self control. You are choosing to be intentional and hopefully making wiser choices this year regardless of where you find yourself. Who knows maybe in June I will be singing a different tune and wanting that baby, husband be damned : ), the point is we need to know which season of life we are in and whether we are out of order. I know someone will say that accidents happen and they do but I also know that when we need to get the brakes fixed in our cars no one has to warn us twice or give us a plan B, pun intended : ).

Listening is loving..

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