Relationship Goals

Happy new year everybody! In my quest to start off the new year on a high note I wanted to start with a topic that has been on the forefront of my mind for some time now. Relationships and relationship goals. I can see that eye roll and the loud groans where you are thinking 'another relationship post' but please bear with me.

Free by anieto2k

Speaking on a personal level I have found myself thinking about my relationship and where I want to see it go in the new year. Being that there are no solo relationships which by the very definition of the word are non existent, I have had to start thinking of 'we' and where I want to see this 'we' going forward. Now it has always been a we but you can quickly find yourself being an 'I' when you bring up difficult conversations.

In light of this I have been assessing my relationship goals to see if they align with my partner's goals. This is scary because you have to rattle things up and the aftermath may not be what you want. It is however necessary especially when you feel like you are not in sync with each other.

In evaluating your goals you have to recognize when a relationship has reached its full potential which will ultimately reduce frustration levels. Sometimes you keep pushing a relationship beyond what it is meant to be and you become frustrated when it doesn't go beyond the box or circle its meant to be in. What do I mean by this? Here is my answer. 

If you are at the prime age of 30 : ) or somewhere in that range I am sure you have had multiple relationships or at least one or two serious ones. There are things you want from a relationship for you to feel fulfilled. You know when you are not content, when you are always trying to push to the 'next level' so to speak. However you are either met with resistance or just blank stares because your partner either doesn't want to go to the next level with you or they are happy with the way things are. For them the relationship is at its peak, there's no where else to go for them.

It can be so disheartening especially when you have put in the time and the work but such is life. You have to be wise enough to know when to cut your losses or maybe to stick it out if you see some far off, really tiny ray of light in the very far off distance in perhaps never never land. Haha I joke but really you have to see things for what they are or you may become a very bitter person down the line. Accept where the relationship has reached and see it for what it is. If you aren't happy with what you see don't settle perhaps its time to move on.

When your expectations are consistently met with disappointment its a sign that you are not fulfilled. People may say your expectations are too high but they aren't the ones who have to live in your reality. I am all for compromise but perhaps its time to throw that out and see the bigger picture. If nothing has changed and you are still in the same zone that you were in say 6 months ago then maybe its time to pack it in. Progress is good. Progress is important. Without it, you are wasting each others time and merely co-existing.

On the flip side if you find yourself in a relationship that is fulfilling then stick it out. Relationships are genuinely difficult but if your partner loves you and is committed to being with you and meets you half way then tough it out. Make sure that you are heard and that you also listen. Hopefully your goals align or at the very least you are content. Whatever your journey is and wherever you find yourself I wish you a successful and progressive year. Hopefully you are not on a solo journey in the relationship you find yourself in.

Listening is loving...

No comments:

Post a Comment