Silent Treatment

Hiiii hope you all had a great weekend. I had a nice chilled out weekend, I'm finding that these days that's the way to go. By Friday the thought of going anywhere sounds like torture, what's happening to me??? Old age I guess : (. As long as you enjoy whatever you are doing who cares right, even if it involves pajamas, ice cream and a big old bottle of wine.

Anyways today I wanted to talk about silent treatment and how it can be a double edged sword. I don't mean the kind of silent treatment that is meant to punish the other person for some wrong doing they have done and are usually not aware of. I mean the type of silent treatment where you hold your tongue until the issue passes or until you are calm enough to have a constructive conversation.

I'm not usually confrontational and I have a tendency to avoid a person if they have offended me in one way or other. I just do not like having those serious conversations especially when I feel like they won't change anything meaning that they are essentially a waste of time. So I keep quiet. I don't mean to be malicious but usually I need to focus on what I am feeling and to wrestle with those thoughts internally. It is my process of dealing with issues.

The boyfriend hates this. He's the type of guy who likes to discuss everything under the moon. Then there is me who will shut down if you come at me some type of way. That leaves us at an impasse and some awkward dinners sometimes when he wants to talk and I don't want to. I feel like he should be happy about this haha I mean who doesn't like a girl who doesn't talk too much.

However when I think about where he is coming from I feel like this attitude is something I should work on. Talking things out is good especially when the other person is really interested in what you are saying. You can avoid many issues down the road just by talking, right? I hope so because I am not joking when I say talking tires me quite literally. I want to bury the issue rather than hash it out especially like I mentioned if it is something that keeps coming up. It can be detrimental though because things go unresolved and then one day I just blow up and the poor guy is left wondering what happened. It's funny how sometimes you think you have dealt with something until something triggers a memory and you go off like a wild fire.

Silent treatment on the other hand can be good because you avoid saying things you will regret and cannot take back. Something said cannot be unsaid. I have said things in the heat of the moment that I shouldn't say. Now if I had applied my usual attitude where I avoid the person then those things would not have been said, which by the way creates even more issues, just can't win haha.

In all seriousness mature adults should be able to talk about things that need to be discussed. However sometimes being quiet is just as helpful. Why add fuel to the fire? What do you guys think? I am all for holding your tongue when the situation warrants it. I also think talking helps. So to be silent or not to be silent.

Listening is loving....

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