The Different Levels Of Singlehood

So I've been thinking about the different levels of single hood. Every time I fill in one application or the other the box single or married always comes up and I think to myself yeah I am a lone soldier out here as I check off the status section.




Anyways about the different levels of singlehoodness which is a totally made up word).
You can be:

  • Just single that is, you ain't with anyone.
  • Single and dating meaning you are seeing someone. 
  • Single and in a complicated relationship (what does that even mean?). 
  • Lastly there is single and searching meaning there is another level of singlehoodness of people who are single and not searching, who comes up with these stuff?

It's funny how as you get older this box starts to matter even more. For me being single hasn't ever really bothered me, I like my own company and being with someone hasn't ever been a priority. But boy is that changing. When you fill in those papers or when people ask you if you have a spouse like they expect you to have one then your level of singlehoodness starts to matter. So what level are you at today?

Some people have been together so long they might as well be married but if you ain't married you ain't married which means where it really counts you are single. Some folks actually fear making it official and changing that status is a big deal. Once you are married you are stuck with this person for real like it's for keeps you can't go back and say you want to return them : ). For some people you have been with someone so long, you qualify for another level 'single and stuck'.

Then comes the ones in a complicated relationship might as well be just single. The complication is just an excuse to waste each others time because all relationships have dynamics that render them complicated in one way or the other. The ones who are searching well I give you props because you are atleast honest. If you are single because you suffered a loss my heart goes out to you.

Regardless of which level you are at single hood can be a lonely place even when you are with someone i.e dating. I feel like the older I get it almost becomes embarrassing saying that you are single especially when your peers seem to be getting hitched left, right and center. Last week we were on vacation and I kid you not every single couple we met was married and they naturally assumed we were as well AWKWARD!! My boyfriend did not mind people asking him about his 'wife' but it set us up for some conversations that were weird. We found ourselves just going with it in terms of just letting them assume we were married. It was like there was an an unspoken question of 'what is wrong with you? Why aren't you married?' Perhaps it is just nature and progressing from one stage of life to another just seems like the natural course of action.

In any case I wonder what you all my fellow single friends think. Perhaps sometimes being just single is better at least there is some clarity where as single and dating has some blurred lines based on assumptions that the other party would like to commit. I wonder if it was possible for people to meet and decide they will get married from the get go and just work to make it work creating yet another level of single hood, 'single with intent to marry'. I think there are few people who can speak to fireworks or love at first sight. You simply pick a person and you make it work no matter what. Hence single with intent to marry would bring a level of comfort knowing that the person you are with is committed to making that particular relationship their last one.

As always your thoughts are appreciated so feel free to leave some input on this life of singlehoodness if I haven't managed to completely confuse you.

Listening is loving....

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