Compartmentalize Your Relationships

Have you ever found yourself holding people up to either extremely high expectations or just expecting things that you shouldn't be expecting from them? There's a saying about not expecting too much from people and avoiding disappointment.

There is some truth to that statement, I think we set ourselves up for failure. We know the people who are in our lives and therefore we know what their capacities are, unless we truly don't know them. So in that line of thinking maybe it's not so much about lowering our expectations or getting rid of them altogether. Perhaps it's really about knowing what we want and then surrounding ourselves with people who can deliver. That way you know which box fits where every single time.

There's so much less stress with this strategy. This is something I am finding myself applying frequently in my life. It's like I have compartments for people. I neatly put each person in a compartment that fits them. That way there are no surprises and no disappointments. Sometimes I put the wrong people in the wrong compartments but the corrective action is swift. They move back to their compartments very fast when I realize I must have opened the wrong one. It's like using salt when you are expecting sugar. Blurgh!

Have you found yourself in a place where a person in your life frustrates you so much? It could be your wife, friends, husband, girlfriend, mother, siblings etc they just drive you up a wall. Maybe it's time to evaluate that situation, after all if it walks like a duck it's probably a duck. Put them in their specific 'duck' compartment and neatly label it. Breath easy now because there are no more surprises there, you know exactly what you get from that compartment.

People rarely change who they are. Whatever they are capable of is always there. There is a caveat though. Whatever a person is willing to do for one person they may not be willing to do for you. One person will get unconditional love and another will get indifference from the same person... So, where does that leave you? The answer is easy! Compartments my friends! If you take whatever version a person presents you with and you neatly label it, then that person represents something in your life. It may not be what every body else gets but you know exactly which compartment they fit in your life.

Now maybe you should look into adding other compartments in your life that will deliver what you want every single time without failure. So don't lower your expectations or lose them all together. Work with what you have - if you have to, just make sure they are in the right compartment. You might be waiting for a bus that isn't coming because your compartments are all wrong. Maybe you should be at a different stop. Or maybe there are some compartments you should lock and throw away the key. Compartmentalize and label the people in your life friends.

Listening is loving...:

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