Ten Qualities to be 'Wifey Material'

Are you wifey material?


This question annoys me? I mean seriously why do we have to have a universal measure/standard of 'wifey material'? Different guys want different things. So why does the standard exist and any deviation from it sends you to the purgatory of the single and approaching spinsterhood. While this post is not about women equality or protesting against some unfair standard set by men, it is an introspective look to see are you really wifey material.


Have you ever noticed that most men don't end marry the girl who hangs out with the guys? The one who is the ride or die? It's so messed up isn't it? The girl who has so many guy friends ends up attending quite a few weddings and none is her own. Usually she exhibits the same characteristics as her guy friends so if its pulling an all night drinking and partying hard she's all in. Sometimes said girl has a 'friends with benefits' arrangement with one of the guys but it never matures to anything more. It seems you are doomed if you do and you are doomed if you don't.

The double standard exists and girl ain't nothing you can do about it. You see we are all influenced by the environment we grow up in. For guys the wife they envision mirrors their mothers and not in a sick way for you people who want to got there. I mean the same way they say a girl's first love is her father it's the same way for men. The only wife figure a guy has lived with is his mother. So you can bet he wants a girl who exhibits the same traits albeit subconsciously. 

Why do you think it is so important to a guy for his mother to approve his choice? They'll never say it loud but a mother's approval is validation that they made the right choice. I think that there are some basic things that you can do for yourself to bump up your wifey material rating.

Here goes my little list:
  1. Carry yourself with dignity. This means the way you talk, dress etc is a reflection of who you are. Guys will look at a girl in a skimpy dress and they will admire her and maybe even look again but in their minds they have subconsciously categorized you as non-wifey material. Most mature men want a girl who can carry on a conversation without throwing f bombs or displaying all the merchandise to the world. There is a saying in Swahili,"A good thing/deed/word sells itself(is successful), a bad thing treads on itself(destroys itself)." 
  2. Handle your business. Get out of debt, find ways to ensure your financial stability etc Some situations obviously warrant that getting a stable job is difficult for you right now but the fact that you are working on it is a plus. As for debt I've heard of people doing credit checks before they even consider dating. This seems extreme but you don't want to marry into debt the same way a guy won't want to marry into debt especially consumer debt like credit cards. School loans are fine but credit cards you need to handle that.
  3. Be emotionally stable. No one wants to be around someone who is super moody, needy or just all over the place. Find your cool : ).
  4. Ditch some of the people you hung out with. Seriously there are people you need to leave behind in your past. They just don't add value. They are the obnoxious, loud, arrogant, opinionated and selfish people in your life. They probably don't realize they are now grown, they still act like they are in high school or college. Don't get me wrong, if that's the way they choose to love their lives, to each his own. But remember the people you hung out with are a reflection of who you are. They also influence you even if you don't realize it. A guy might judge who you are based on the people who you hung out with and completely dismiss you.
  5. Don't seem too eager. That is such a buzz kill. Let the guy do some hunting. For men its all about the chase and mystery. Keep him coming back for more. Let him discover the different layers that make up who you are slowly. Don't put it all out there. Make him feel like he is opening up a present.
  6. Abstain from sex. I know we are in the 21st century but if a guy is truly interested he will wait. Personally I feel like intimacy has been ignored in the dating scene. Sex and intimacy are two different things. Intimacy is so much better so WAIT. It won't kill you!
  7. Take care of yourself. By this I mean work out, take care of your body its the only one you got. It is also the first thing a guy will see before he even speaks to you. That's just common sense a man will be attracted to your physical appearances before he gets to know you, remember men are visual.
  8. Know who you are. This is so important. When you know who you are no one else can define you. A man will be attracted to a strong woman and every strong man wants a strong  and confident woman at his side.
  9. Have a good head on your shoulders. Men like stability that's why so many husbands let their wives handle their check books. They don't know when the bills are due or when the grocery shopping will be done. They just know the wife will take care of it. No one wants to be around someone who has a messy life because inherently that mess will become their mess to clean up.
  10. Be the person the person you are looking for is looking for. This is something I heard in church. If you are looking for a husband there are certain things you are looking for in that man. Don't be silly expecting the moon from someone when you can't even take off from the ground yourself. This statement encompasses everything above. Be the person the person you are looking for is looking for.
Now I know this is a short list and I'm sure there is so much more out there that could be added to this list so comment and let us know. 

Listening is loving....


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