Canceling Your Engagement

How many people do you know would have the guts to walk away from an engagement/wedding? There is some history behind this question. I know of someone who cancelled her engagement after realizing she had made the wrong call. Basically she realized a few months into the engagement that this man was not the one. That decision took guts like spartan type of guts.

You know the usual frills that go along with an engagement. Once its official everything becomes real. The parents meet like officially because now you are about to become family, you start dress shopping, venue shopping... the whole nine yards. So imagine the backlash when after you have made a circus of your engagement posting it on any social media platform you can think of and then deciding oops I changed my mind, no engagement, just kidding, go home folks, no wedding here.

I may joke about it but this is some serious stuff.  You could become a pariah overnight especially if you both have the same friends and they all decide to side with the guy. Not only is it embarrassing but its costly. There's the engagement ring that has no purpose now and a dress that you won't be using etc Just thinking of all the people you would disappoint and the costs would be enough for someone to decide to stick it out.

But as with most difficult decisions, that harder option is usually the one with the most benefits. Going through with an engagement you no longer believe in would be worse than anything you would have to deal with after canceling. The time between your engagement and your wedding can reveal things about your significant other that you just can't deal with. 
(Where did that phrase come from anyway 'significant other'. Sounds so self important!! The definition is, "a person with whom someone has an established romantic or sexual relationship.") I guess bumping privates with someone makes them significant, relative to you at least haha. Anyway back to this engagement business.

When you have dated someone for a short time and then you get engaged there are things about them that could surprise you during the wedding planning process. This obviously also applies to people who have been together for a long time. You may discover things that will break your heart, make you angry, make you question your judgement and  pretty much change the direction of your life. The question is would you have the guts to call it off.

Personally I don't think I would. I'm a people pleaser and I get caught up in things. When I go full throttle on a project it's difficult for me to let go without completing it . I care too much what people think. I think that applies to many of us. I would be walking down the aisle pissed off  feeling like a martyr, while really the tougher choice would have been to cancel the whole debacle. I hope I never have to make this decision. What would you do? Do you know someone who cancelled their engagement?

Listening is loving....

No comments:

Post a Comment