Ten Things a New Bride Should Know

Sagrada Familia
The book of Proverbs says that the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. This is one of those things you read and you have to pause and reflect whether you are a Christian or not.

I don't think you necessarily have to be married to be 'building' a house. I think it should be applied to all aspects of your life for anyone who thinks of themselves as a woman. Getting married does not make you a woman. So ladies take those words to heart and apply them to every aspect of your life and build instead of tearing down. Everything and anyone you come across should flourish. You attract what you are after all.
Getting back to the topic at hand, I think of the Proverbs 31 woman who sounds outlandish. She sounds too perfect. She brings good things and not harm to her husband. All you married ladies out there you better be good to your husbands: ). 
The proverbs 31 woman can bring so much insight to someone open to building her home as a wife. This past weekend I went to two bridal showers and the advice that was passed on was basically the same. Why? Because marriage has been there forever and there are no 'secrets' to a happy marriage just some basic things that a wife can do. I'm sure men have their list but I am not a man so I cant speak to that.

Here is some of the advice I picked up:

1. Communicate with your husband. Don't hold things in and assume he knows how you are feeling. Talk to him make him your confidant. Being quiet and not expressing yourself will quickly lead to 'irreconcilable differences'.

2. Don't tell people your business. This is so important. Especially when you have fights. Don't go on a rampage tearing down your husband especially if you don't intend to leave him. This will cause so much tension between the people you know and you guys as a couple. Your family is the worst they will hate him and disrespect him because of how you portray  him. So ladies don't call your mum to bash your husband believe me over time her resentment will strain your marriage.

3. Keep your man happy. Girl if your man wants to get down please do not withhold the goods. Share freely and willingly.

4. Dress well, keep yourself groomed and take care of yourself. I've seen women let themselves go and I find it unacceptable. There are 24 hours in a day. Find time for you, work out if you need to, shop for things that are flattering. Remember men are visual creatures. I dare you to buy something sexy or cute and see what the hubby says or even boyfriend.

5. Take time for just the two of you. I heard this from multiple married women. The kids will leave eventually then it will be just you two. Don't be strangers. Go on vacation just the two of you to rekindle things. For every output there's an input. If you don't invest in your marriage you will be disappointed in the end.

6. Pray for your marriage make God the center of it. Not much to add here. He who begun a good work will be faithful to complete it. 

7. Be spontaneous especially with sex.

8. Respect him. Finances are the biggest thing that causes marriages to break down. You might be making more than the hubs, don't make this a focal point. Men are providers. I don't care that it's the 21st century because men feel good when they 'handle' things. If he wants to pay the mortgage let him. Let him feel like a king in your home and appreciate him for it.
 9. Give him space when he needs it. You know your man and you know when he needs space or to have a drink with the boys. Let him be, he knows he has a good woman at home and he will always come back to you. Make sure he finds you in that new Victoria Secrets piece.

10. Have someone who is unbiased to talk to. This could be your pastor or just someone you can both talk to when you have issues. Have a mentoring figure, it could be an older couple. Try to establish the relationship early in the marriage and not when issues start coming up. Let people who have been there and done that mentor you.

Above all choose him everyday intentionally and with a sober mind. Choose to honor him even when it's difficult.

Listening is loving....

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